Engaged

Happy Things

Happy things are pretty abundant around here right now. :D I was sitting at my desk this morning and three of them clicked, all in a row, in my mind. I could see Roses Rainbows And Blue Sky. How could a person NOT be happy???

 Especially when she can write letters to her boyfriend...

 Or look up from her desk and see the roses he sent her one day. 

 I walked up to the front door and saw a box sitting there, I assumed it was something for my Dad and tried the front door. It was locked. Bother. So to kill time until my Mother got home with the only house key around (I've been locked out three times in the last two weeks I believe.) I looked at the label on the box... :D :D :D Mom got home and found her daughter happily sitting on the freezing cold front steps, grinning like crazy, and holding a miniature rose bush. 

 

I was playing with the hot glue gun the other day... The glue goes ON the windowpanes fairly well... The problem is getting it OFF. :D I got  most of the snowflake I messed up off with a pair of green children's sized scissors.

After seeing Mom and Amy bring in pine for the window sills the other day I decided that if they could bring it in before Thanksgiving,

than so could I!

See what happens in ten days??? :D :D :D 

Home-made Flowers

Saturday Charity, Kara, and I spent a simply glorious day shopping. (Is there such a thing as a day shopping with friends that ISN'T?)

This is the end of the list, sort of, because it could kinda go on and on and on. But considering the fact that it's evening, so I can't really go on all day.

I'm going to stop.

Have a lovely Thanksgiving everyone!

-Francis-

Fall Projects

"Mom, I want my quilt from Grandma Ruth put in. This week." -Me
"Okay." -Mom
I like my Mom!

She even started quilting it. 

This is what happens when a person looks at Pinterest too much in  one week. They're Ginger Tea Candy. I burned the first batch. After I unburned them, I'm cool like that! :D  I dropped them into powdered sugar...

Because Mary Poppins says "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." And she's always right.  Not actually, cuz she says that it's okay to climb up the insides of chimneys and out onto the roof. She's wrong on that one. Very wrong.

I put them into a mason jar, just because that's the in thing to do right now. And I figured it would prolly look kinda neat. 

And then I chopped a piece of a curtain off, and wrapped the top of the jar, and tied it with hemp. And then I set it on my desk and looked at it all evening. And a few days later I fed them to Brad. :D He didn't die, and he didn't turn green, and he still walks okay. So I think I'll prolly try again sometime. But next time I'm going to use honey instead of all the vile sugar!

This was another Pinterest project. I'm not
convinced I like it yet. It doesn't look like the picture I copied it from!!! *sigh* I think next time I try I'm going to cut the boards myself, instead of turning them over to the tender mercies of my dear 15 year old brother. He used a swede saw. Yikes. I was glad for his help though. Thank's Brad! I also stuck the handles on with JB weld. Not sure that was necessarily something that normal people would confess to having done. But it worked really well. So. You should try it sometime. If you happen to be out of gray tape! :D 

That's a Zinnia. I like them. Lots.     

This is Amy and I. I like her. Lots.
The End

Supercalifragilisticexpialidotios. That's a good word btw. Just ask Mary Poppins.

It's fall, and the wind is blowing gustily today, the leaves are zooming around and running into peoples faces unexpectedly, and the pumpkin spice candles smell gorgeous. I think God made autumn just for me! :D But it's okay if you all want to enjoy it too. I'll share.
 This morning I was going about my life and had this sudden, and highly disturbing, thought. I didn't know what day of the week it was.
At all. Like, I thought about it for a good three minutes and finally figured it out by the process of elimination. "I know we already had a Tuesday, because of kids club. I know we had a Wednesday, because of church. But is it Thursday, or Friday, or Saturday!?". I finally figured out that it must be Friday. Because yesterday wasn't Wednesday, and I knew I was supposed to teach school today, and I don't teach on Saturdays. I'm not blond. Nope. I'm not. I refuse to be called blond. I'm just, um... something else that's nicer!!!
 I'm listening to Lynda Randle's music today. She says that life is good all the time if we center it around Jesus. She's right too. And this morning Jesus told me that He likes to give His people rest. And that He doesn't want me to worry about stuff. So today I'm listening to Him. You should too. Cuz He had people write that in the Bible for everybody. Not just me.
 I walked in the door from school today feeling kinda blue and Amy and Mom yelled from the living room, "HEY! Come in here!'. And proceeded to throw idea's at me rapidly while I just stood there looking confused. Because I knew they were idea's about something that had to do with candles and stopping to pick up fall leaves for pretty... But that was about all I could gather from their exclamations. I finally figured out that we're going to the lake by my Dad's logging job tonight, for supper. And I said, "Tonight!? Oh!". And stood there looking lost again. Amy paused long enough to figure out what was wrong with me and then started throwing idea's at me again. "Frank. I'm going to talk. You be quiet and listen." *I give her a funny look.* "You have a way of telling me to stop talking when I have idea's like I'm going to tell you. So. Don't do that." *I shut my mouth and look at her expectantly.* "I'm going to go down to the jar room..." *I open my mouth, and say, "stop talking". (The words jar and room were a dead give away).* *Amy glares at me.* *I shut my mouth again.* "And I'm going to....". And then she told me a whole list of things she is going to do in the jar room. Including painting and moving shelving around and putting a mason jar over the bare light-bulb that's poking out of a beam in the ceiling downstairs. I nodded, and smiled. I like her. Lots. But she's kinda intimidating sometimes!!! When I grow up I'm going to learn how to be as industrious as she is. Maybe. I think it would prolly make me kinda dizzy to think about stuff as fast as she does when she's happy. Or had coffee.
 Mom and Amy are hollering up the steps at me, "Frank! Are you about done!". I think they think we should leave now. I'm ignoring them! :D Well, not actually, I'm sorta ignoring them till I get this finished.

 The sky is blue. 

 Mom's kittens grew. 

 And now my story is all through. 

 The end. 

P.S. I like Dr. Suess. 

Pictures Again :)

Here are a few pictures for those of you who have been begging for them and wondering what's been going in my life! :) Life is good. 

Josh spent last weekend here. These are pretty self explanatory I think. I love this guy! Lots! :D ;) 

In Between

I was talking to this guy yesterday (ahem). And he told me to stop stressing about finding work to fill in until school time. I told him I wasn't stressed, I was just feeling frantic about it! 
 I don't think it works much to feel frantic (or stressed) about anything. I've actually pretty firmly decided it doesn't. Because here I am, sitting at my desk, writing a blog post, at noon, on a Monday. Weird huh!?
 I woke up this morning with dreams of making these cool little flower thingys everybody is seeing on pinterest, you know the ones I mean. Lace and burlap and pearly buttons, that kind. Guess what!? My dearest darling youngest sister used up all but one glue stick making some for herself the other day. How very sad.
 So I shall go practice piano for a while, or read a book, or write an email *smiles quietly to herself*, or maybe go make that picture frame I've been trying to talk Brad into making, or sew. Or SOMETHING!!!!!!! I need work to do. A month is muchly-much-muchly too long to not have work. Have a glorious Monday everyone. Because I'm surely enjoying mine! (I am too, truly, life is marvelous). 
 I'm going to go plan supper... Maybe, a mug of tea and a good book sounds lovely. God is good to me!!!  -Frank

Life Is Beautiful

He told me yesterday. And he kept hinting today. And then Amy woke me from a nap this afternoon, "you have a box here". I'm pretty much, very surely and decidedly, undoubtedly, (yeah, pretty much totally), dating the nicest man around! :) :) :)  

Josh and I

"Sometimes I just look up, smile, and say, "I know that was you God! Thanks!"

Da, da, da da da.

I'm working on my fifth hour. Of being in a coffee shop. That's all in today. I'm not weird. It's just my day off. I woke up this morning to a rooster crowing. I leaned over and bopped my phone, harder than was needed prolly. It stopped making noises. And then it said "DROID!!!". So I looked at it again. "I'm done with my meeting, when will you be here?"-Audrey "Good-grief woman! I thought it was at ten!!! It's 9:30... You'll have to wait half hour at least. I'm still lying in bed." -Yours Truly
 So goes my morning. It was lovely fun. :)
Now I'm sitting here wishing I'da thunk to bring the card for the camera with so I could post some pictures. Shoot. I have a couple though, like this one:

I like this kid allot. He wont come live at my house though. I keep trying to talk him into it and he always says in a very dubious tone "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmummmmaaaa". I always assume that means he'd rather not. I'm really hoping he starts talking while I'm here.
 And I have this one too:

I am still a little awestruck that I actually have this picture. I never imagined I'd be lucky enough to have a picture of just me and my Grandpa Sid. He's one of people in my life who prays for me every. single. day. I don't think he could possibly understand how much that means to all of his grandkids. Love you Grandpa.

 Next week we are headed out to spend a week in Idaho, my cousin is getting married and I'm to serve at her wedding. I'm looking forward to seeing all my friends and relations out there. I'm in denial about the fact that two of the cousins MY AGE are married/getting married. And I've never met their significant other(s). This is disturbing. So goes life I guess! Ericka, you'd better watch out, I get to meet him before you're married... If he doesn't come up to specks....  :) JK, I'm sure he will.  

 I have an application in my book bag, half completed, for SMBI. I'm signing up for fifth term. We shall see if I'm too late for getting in. I wont be heart broken if I don't. I'm scared of Bible School. There are scary people there. ("Me? Imagine things? I should get down off of this unicorn and smack you!")

 My radio station just started playing Yellow Submarine. I did not ask it to, this station is supposed to be playing Maranatha! music. I am disturbed. "Da, da, da da da... Da, da, da da da". Help us all!!!

 I have enough caffeine in me for 40 hippo's. I should be sewing a dress. I should not be writing blog posts when I have 40 hippo's worth of  caffeine in me. It creates odd posts.  

 I have this picture too:

Bad pic, I sent it from my phone to my computer. It ended up looking like this. Which is fine, because you can't see how bad of a job pink bubble bath soap does with washing a pickup. Dad, I am still your daughter, and proud of it! :) Lance isn't the only one who ever "embraces his inner redneck". I locked this thing today because I had my computer in it. When we got back I could not get it unlocked. Amy could not get it unlocked. Audrey is superwoman. I am convinced. 

I had to crawl through the pickup to the other side to get the drivers door unlocked. Which is better than what Amy was threatening to do. She was gonna go in through the back window. I was parked on main street. The back window was wired shut *relieved sigh*. 

 I'm leaving now. 6 hours in a coffee shop is too many. Way to many. The Mt. Dew and omelet, the Dr.Pepper and chicken salad wrap, and the caramel frappe, were all pretty good though. Excuse me while I go on a quick 50 mile run and drink water till my teeth float, trying to get rid of all the calories and caffeine. 

 Bye peoples. I've proved I'm not dead now. -Frank

Summer Time

We're reveling in the gloriousness of summer time here right now. Lots of sunshine and roses and cut grass and garden work and water play.

 I've been listening to this song over and over lately, I'm pretty sure it's my favorite in the whole wide world.

 I went on a walk yesterday just before church, and trespassed down the tower lane to see what it was like back there, lots of mowed grass and lovely places to go read... And on the way out I noticed the blackberries growing on tree's, the silly plants out here dont know that those things grow on blackberry brambles in the middle of the woods!!!!! :) :) :) (they were mulberries, you know, like the ones in And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street, that kind). I'm going to take my basket and go pick a while bunch of them one of these days.

 I need to get going, they are trying to close up shop for the day in here. I'm off to find food for a tin foil supper at Matt's tonight.

 Life is Amazing!!!

Summer Project

Here it is Mom. Brad and Gabe helped me put it together and Matt hung it for me tonight. I like it everly so muchly. I told Amy that it fits into our cabin at home better than it does here though. :) It's pretty rough, but I wanted it that way. The back I wash painted and on the desk part I layered on the paint until I got it smooth enough to make me happy. It's a lovely sunshine spot.

I took the bike that Matt got last week and road down A Street this evening until I found roses. Filled my basket full of them and came home and sat on a bar stool filling my vase while I watched Amy do the dishes... And here I'm sposed to be helping her!  I told her I felt guilty and she said something about, "Picking roses while you may." She says it's a poem. Anybody know the name of it?
 I'm love love loving living in the country. I don't think these people know how blessed they are. Living right next to the wind and the rain and the wild flowers and grasses is like a little bit of heaven on earth. The animals on the other hand I could do with out.
 I was in the chicken coop the other day with Zerrick, and Keagan came around the corner, "Hey Francis, I have something to show you!!!".
I'm kinda dumb sometimes I think. Probly anyways. Cuz most people know better than to follow a little boy when he says he"has something to show you".
The possum had been dead for several days. And the maggots and flies knew it.
Amy and I buried it the next day when we couldn't stand the smell anymore.
 My seven rows of flowers are up in the garden and in need of weeding. I think I'll do it tomorrow if it isn't too wet. We got a humongous amount of rain this morning. It poured like it would never rain again and I woke up to it pelting gustily against my windowpane.
 Tomorrow Amy and I have dreams of getting the house work all done by noon and going goodwill shopping. Spose we'll get it done? I'm going to look for some summer-ish sort of fabric for a curtain in my room. Amy is looking for a kitchen door curtain, and some furniture.
 Life is Beautiful.
       -Francis

Lead Me

"Lead Me To The Cross"

Author Unknown

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemption's hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

[Chorus:]
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

[Chorus]

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

[Chorus]

Random, Odd, and Perhaps Unnecessary, Thought

Are you the person you thought you’d be ten years ago?

She Learns

*"When we contemplate the all-powerful, always-in-control, Lord of our lives and Lord of the world, we can rest in the knowledge that He has the whole world in Hand." -Billy Graham*
 Billy says in his book Unto the Hills "It is not enough to instantly stop all ungodly thoughts that enter our minds, one must always be filling their minds with His word." I learned this week, (and it wasn't for the first time) the intense importance that should be placed on our time with Him.
 I sat down in the living room last evening, my mind still spinning, and started telling my Dad about my day, all the way from being wide awake at two in the morning, and the van breaking down at four thirty in the afternoon, to the sharp horror I felt when I realized the importance of the song Jesus Loves Me and the revelation that I've failed to teach it to the NBCC kids.  Approximately one zillion things happened in-between there as well. And in each split second He was at my side. Don't ask me how I would have done this week without His help, because I have no idea. I'd probably be unconscious and babbling about applications, first graders, overdue and unread library books, interviews, and stressful relationships.  My Mom made a comment last evening along the lines of: "You had your past few months all brought up to look at today didn't you!?" Yes Ma'am, I did. And when the past few months are as intense as mine have felt, a day of summarizing them can be a bit overwhelming.
 In Sunday School today we read Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick. But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." Someone asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue "what happens when we keep on desiring something, something good, and it never comes?". I've had that question burning on my mind, along with: How do we turn keen disappointment, impossibly hard relationships, and each split second, over to Him. Automatically, with out becoming bitter when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel?
 The answer was simple. Don't fail to consistently turn it over to the Lord, and find your fulfillment and joy in the Lord. Don't look elsewhere for it, because God is the one who holds the whole world in His hand.
 "There are many plans in a man's heart. Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand." Proverbs 19:21
 "May He grant you according to your heart's desire. And fulfill all your purpose." Psalm 20:4"
I've decided that the key to those two verses is making sure that our desires and plans are based on what we know the Lord wants for us.
 And when plans fall through, new glitches come up, and hard to handle criticisms come your way. Turn them over to the Lord. And above all else. Keep your mind sharp in the Word, spending time with Him as much as possible.
 And please, teach the little children that "Jesus Loves You". Don't ever, ever, take a moment with a child for granted. We were put here to give. So above all else, strive to give glory to the Lord, and teach the children what it means.

For this, I thank you Lord.

It isn't me who gives. It's God through me. And that means that when I'm dead inside it doesn't matter... It only gives Him more room to move.
 And on the days where life feels literally devastating and you wonder what the point to even trying to give is. When you have a bitter come back for every inspirational thought that comes your way. When the doors are all closed, and that open window that's supposed to be there is all blacked out.  On those days when all of you is used up and all you have left to give is the rocks on the "rock bottom".  When all you feel like doing is picking up those rocks and throwing them around with all your might to see if you can break a window open. It's on those days when other people see what you have inside of you after you've hit rock bottom.  
 But the "rocks" of the Spirit are: Love, Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. 
 Reach down and pick up peace, and use it to take love with you to find kindness, and the kindness brings joy to someone, and inspires them on to do goodness, and you realize that with God's faithfulness, you've gained the self control to put gentleness into action and not throw those rocks. But only allow Christ to display the beauty of them. And this is where forbearance comes in. Because we all know, that after you've already managed a whole day of this. It's gonna take a colossal amount of forbearance to do it again tomorrow. But with Him filling us, all this is possible. And for this, I thank you Lord.

A Day in the Life

Sitting at Back Roads thinking about the difference between Chiang Mai's coffee shops and Hayward's... Wow. Okay, so I can't type today. At all!!!
 I think the biggest prob is wondering if someone is watching over your shoulder the whole time... Like, they can actually read what I'm writing in this country. Dude. I think I should move to the other side of the room so my back is to the wall *walls can't read*.
 I finally got that call today. The one where I say "Yes, of course, what time works best for you? I can make that work, yes. See you then!" And as soon as I hang up I think through the whole conversation. And wonder if I'd hire myself if I was Steve, after talking to me. I have an interview at two on Thursday... Which means leaving from my mid week vacation at the cabin earlier than the others. And driving home by myself. I'm gonna have Mom let me drive on the way up. I don't wanna do Duluth for the first time alone. There would be advantages though... Like no one else getting killed if I smash the whole jeep into tiny little bits.
 Mom and Dad just got back last night from a weekend up there. They say there is snow. Lots of snow. More snow than Hayward. Like. a. lot. more. (Yeah, I know I sound like I'm going crazy. I wonder why I would sound like that!???)

At the Cabin

 There is an NBCC meeting tonight. I'm looking forward to actually sitting and talking and not chasing kiddos around. It's been a very very long time since we had a meeting. Like, 6? months. Too long.
 *this coffee is good!*
I'm beginning to get whiplash trying to make this post connect. Sorry. Tis what my whole life is like right now. I tried making a list the other day of everything I've done in the last few weeks. I gave up. What's the point?
 I was going to call CAM today... If Steve didn't call. I was all geared to pack my bags and head off to some place where it is already spring and hang drywall or make meals for the next three months. Steve called.
 Carolyn Martins... Noah's girl. Asked me to play piano at her wedding. I'm practicing, I really am. But the one piece makes my ears twitch and my eyes go crossed. Okay, that was an exaggeration... But STILL! May I pick a different version of the same song? I'll talk to you next weekend I guess.
 I just noticed that they have one of the same pictures on the wall here that every single shop in the whole of Hayward has. Hm. Someday I'm gonna write a book that's popular like that. NOT!!! *shudders*
 I read part of a book this morning that I found in the Weaver's bookcase. About self discipline. Wow. It was good, really good. And it stepped all over my toes. Several times. The dear author said that of all the things we need to have discipline and control over, it's how we talk. And I had just like, gotten mad and, yeah. It's Monday. That's a poor excuse. Sorry.
 I should get going. It's getting later-ish and I still need to go shopping. And study for school. And, okay, you get the picture. I have a meeting tonight too! Goodness! Bye!

Wild-n-Wacky

Blurry picture I know... But that's what the last month has been like... One big wild-n-wacky blur... But a good one at that.

 Weavers left a week early for their spring break up trip and I was quite suddenly jobless... So I've been doing about a gazillion different things to keep myself busy. And trust me, busy is a marvelous word for it!!! Monday's project was ordering my Thailand pictures, picking them up, and sorting them... I discovered that I shan't be trying to do that all in one day again. I ended up with a somewhat random collection of pictures. Lol!!! Oh well, I'll just have to fill in the blanks sometime. Pictures like the one of Nong Dew and I, Pii Phone and I, and Mae and I are totally missing. Which is highly frustrating because I can't seem to find them amongst several thousand pictures :P Not cool. A word to all you girls who are behind on your scrapbooking/picture albums. Don't get behind. :) :) :) Yeah, easier said than done. 

 I sent an application in for a new job about a week ago and still have not heard back from them... Beginning to wonder if I should look for some summer VS work to do. MDS maybe??? We shall see. I'm not all that thrilled with the idea of being gone for the summer with Chari having just gotten back... Ha! Now you know how important you are girly!!! But so be it. A girl must have a job, perhaps, I guess. :) 

 Grandma told me while I was down there a few weeks ago that when she was my age she earned 4/5$ a day. I always wonder what for horrifying fact I will tell my grandkids to shock their socks off!

Me: "When I was your age Charlie, the first African American was elected as President of the USA!" 

Charlie: "Oh come on Grandma, I'm not that gullible."
Me: "No Dearie, it's really truly true!!!"
Charlie: "Sooo, do you remember when Grandpa had hair!?"
 I've gotta run... there is church tonight and I have-eth work to get-eth done.

Spring is today, not tomorrow.

It's spring now.
 How can I tell?

There are lemon drops on the table.

 The snow is melting.

The logging trucks are all empty and forlorn looking as they trundle home on roads that suddenly have bans on them.

 The shops in town have half off sales on the boots and scarves I've been drooling over all winter long.

 My Geranium is FINALLY going to bloom.

I'm looking for summer work. *Anybody know of a few good cleaning jobs in the area?*

 Every-other teenager I know is suddenly getting married.

 Mom planted 50 *correction here, Mom says it was at least 100 (small giddy dance going on here)* tulip bulbs while I was in Thailand. I'm dreaming about them at night... Okay... So not quite, but you get the idea.

 I finally took the pine boughs and white candles out of my window sills.

Dear Horrid Hay-Fever,
 I do not like you. At all. And how you manged to find me in March is beyond me. It's disturbing. With no love, Frank 

The sky is blue again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sparkles, Sunshine, Summer, and Serenity

I like sparkles. I discovered this about three months ago. I used to think that only 12 year olds liked sparkles. I bought some, and put them on my phone, and my white board. I think I’m reverting to my second childhood. Or something.  Maybe it’s an attempt at adding some sparkle to the way I think right now. Maybe.
 
Sunshine is not just a beautiful thing. It is needed. I’d like to meet the person who came up with the idea to describe sunshine as “liquid”. It’s beyond my imagination I’m afraid. Sunshine is just so. not. liquid. Vivid yes. Vibrant. And many other things.  But liquid? Please explain.
 
It is time for summer. And flip-flops. And long walks. And swimming. And open windows. And flowers. And freshly mown grass. And thunderstorms. And 90 degree weather. Yes please.

Serenity is a word for me to strive towards right now. Not placidness, like a Holstein cow. But calmness, and graciousness.  And joy in the moment. Serenity means joy in the moment to me.

Smile? On a rainy day!?

                                                        
You. have got. to be kidding. I don’t want to smile today. It rained.
And don’t tell me to “dance in the rain” cuz I can just see the girl who wrote that, you want to know what she looks like?  Blue eyes, tall, thin, “put together”… She just had a bad day, like a rotten day, and it rained. But, guess what! She, being Miss Perfect, is able to see past the fogged up window on her little car, out into the reflection on the road. And she, being Miss Perfect, is imagining herself there, dancing, twirling in a white dress, to the tune of a Mozart piece.
I don’t listen to Mozart. I don’t own a white dress. I don’t dance. And I drive my Mom’s mini van.
And over and above all those other reasons not to dance in the rain. I hate “looking like a fool”. I would rather hide in a small cave and poke my head out once in a blue moon, while hiding under a large black umbrella, than stand out there and get soaked. I don’t care if the others ARE having a water fight and attempting to  enjoy the general dampness of life. If I can live in my cave and journey abroad only under my large black umbrella. Life is good. Unless someone tells me to dance. In the rain.
Someone told me to today. Not word for word, but in essence. “This is the way things are, work with it”.  But that means I have to go out in the rain, with out my umbrella. It means I have to interact with all those water fight people. It means I have to be there for the person who got water dumped in their face. It means I have to join a team and work together with them. It means I have to listen to someone else boss me around. It means I have to be willing to get wet… And dance while I’m at it.  It means I have to lay aside my pride and fear of looking like a fool. It means I have to remember, Who’s making it rain.
Who is making it rain. Wow. How often do we look at that side of it? It’s raining for a reason. Something is dry and needs the water, something is going to grow because of this. Something is going drown. And it’s your choice if you’re going to grow, or drown.
Drowning has always been one of the most nightmare-ish ways to die in my mind. The desperate flailing, trying to stay above water. That burning feeling as you swallow mouthfuls and it comes out your nose… The deafness, because even your ears are full. The blurred and stinging vision, because your eyes are full. The tingling as your adrenaline pumps, but your body continues to slowly shut down in the chilly water.  The panic, as all you can think of is , “air, solid ground, breath”. Every sense is consumed in one thought, saving, who? Yourself. In the very act of drowning, your selfishness is exposed for the world to see. 
On the other side of it is growing. The darkness as you’re buried under the heavy wet soil, the searching for light and realizing that in the act of doing this you’re losing who you used to be, your shell is coming off, you’re going to be exposed for the world to see all the ugliness you fear is inside. Or not? In searching for the light and reaching upwards have you shaken off the old? Are you going to burst through the darkness, clean and stretching towards light? And as soon as you see it you know. It’s worth it. It’s worth the pain, and the stretching, it’s worth losing who you knew yourself to be. The person you’ve been carefully protecting under your shell. Sure the rain is stressful, sure it shakes the beauty and tempts you to give in and sink back into the ground. But with out it, you’d die.
So even if you don’t dance. We are called to do at least one thing: Go stand in the rain, and smile.

A Jitter-Bug on Steroids

I'm sitting in the living room of a lovely Indiana home, jittering like a jitter-bug on steroids. This person doesn't do well with energy drinks... and five months of not drinking one and then jumping in on 2 cups of coffee and a whole one is worthy of a ten year old who is visiting grandma... But she did it anyways. And now she is seriously regretting it. She starts talking a mile a minute... Interrupts herself by saying "I'm going to shut up now"... and then proceeds to add a few more embarrassing comments.
It reminds her of the time she was at the dentist and they gave her "laughing gas", with out asking her first... and she got so "out-of-it" on it that she got the floating sensation that people who do drugs talk about... And then she got MAD, very mad... and even more mad when the dentist and the nurse walked out of the room and forgot about her for 10 minutes. After they were done working on her mouth. And they forgot to shut off the laughing gas. She has forgiven them. Yes. She has. Yes...
Only she knows that she has no one but herself to blame for the caffeine and sugar.
 She also has her music turned on so loudly that she can't hear the people talking ten feet away from her. And she's enjoying it, allot. She's her father's daughter and after day two of people people people she is ready to crawl in a hole and pull rock over the opening. (Thus the loud music and attempt at zoning out.)
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 I'm going into missing Thailand and desperately working on keeping my head out of the water mode. I firmly decided not to get depressed and mopey. It's taking all of my determination to stick to this after a whole month of not doing anything, with this awful flu.
 Tomorrow morning we are heading out early for Wisconsin. I'm looking forward to traveling, I love traveling. (Unless it involves riding in the very middle of a plane for 12 hours). Road trips are awesome though.
 Monday morning I'm going to start school, or at least pretend to. I want to go get my 54 wall cards put up and get 4/5 Weaver children started on piano lessons. And then I'm headed into town to clean a house (The one that has dog hair in the shower and small sized tooth brushes at the sink... and there are no children in that house.) And then I'm going to race home as fast as I can and teach another piano lesson. This time to my gorgeous second cousin, who is a Hershey and has music in her heart... She is a complete joy to teach.
 And then I'm going to study for Tuesday.... and then... and so goes my life for the next week. Rushing to and fro like a wild woman.
But that's okay, because I'm gonna stay busy that way. And thus forget that Thailand is warm, and has fresh fruit, and rice... And people that I miss. It also has a glorious lack of Rockstar Energy Drinks.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I read Pippi Goes On Board today. And discovered that if ever there was an author who had a weird mind it was Astrid Lindgren. Wow.  "My name is Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraim's Doughter Longstocking, daughter of Captain Efraim Longstocking, formerly the Terror of the Sea, now a cannibal king. But everybody calls me Pippi."

 I find that disturbing. At least Charles Lutwidge Dodgson could come up with a nice sensible name like Alice, for his main character.  
 I actually think part of the problem is that my brain is having a hard time keeping up with normal everyday happenings right now, let alone odd things like un-birthday parties, and cannibals.
 I'm beginning to think that when I grow old and hobble around with a pink hat on my head and carry a parrot on my shoulder, that I shall still have a packet of tissue's stuffed in my large yellow purse and be blowing my nose and eating cough drops every other minute. (I do SO love run-on sentences!!!). 
 I was supposed to start school a week ago yesterday, and guess what, I still haven't. I shall probably still be feeling guilty about not being able teach when I'm old too. DJ and Gin will probably have forgiven me by then though. So I shall survive.
 There is NBCC tonight. I just remembered. I'm going to miss it. Shucks.  
I am going away now. This post is beginning to look disturbingly much like something Lindgren or Dodgson would have written, oh dear. Ta ta! -Frank

 

Random Doodles

Spending my day sitting at my desk with my ear's full of music and holding a pencil...
 I'm actually supposed to be making wall cards for school, after the 40-something-eth one my mind is kinda wandering around in circles and I keep catching myself staring out of the window at the blue sky and leafless trees.
 I have a list in my notebook (which now has 7 more pages with random doodles) for today. Calls that needed to be made, school stuff, looking through my Psychology book to figure out how/if I want to work through it this winter. I've started on the list but I'm not getting anywhere very fast with it.
 Went to NBCC this week, first time since being home. It went really really great and it was WONDERFUL seeing the kids again. I missed them.
 Next Monday I start into teaching again, and piano lessons. Part of me is looking forward to getting back into "humdrum" and part of me is feeling just a tiny bit frantic. I'm hoping and praying I can find something constructive to put the frantic into. (The Psychology book is part of that plan). And skating, I want to skate lots and lots this year, we shall see if that happens. It's cold cold cold in this country and I'm having a hard time working up the braveness required to go out into the frigidness. The other thing I've been kicking around in the back of my brain is a plan to start some sort of etsy/ebay shop. I'm still deciding if I have enough smarts for that though. Mom's been talking about doing the same thing, maybe we can work at it together or something.
  It's starting to get dark out and I need to get on with life. -Francis