She Learns

*"When we contemplate the all-powerful, always-in-control, Lord of our lives and Lord of the world, we can rest in the knowledge that He has the whole world in Hand." -Billy Graham*
 Billy says in his book Unto the Hills "It is not enough to instantly stop all ungodly thoughts that enter our minds, one must always be filling their minds with His word." I learned this week, (and it wasn't for the first time) the intense importance that should be placed on our time with Him.
 I sat down in the living room last evening, my mind still spinning, and started telling my Dad about my day, all the way from being wide awake at two in the morning, and the van breaking down at four thirty in the afternoon, to the sharp horror I felt when I realized the importance of the song Jesus Loves Me and the revelation that I've failed to teach it to the NBCC kids.  Approximately one zillion things happened in-between there as well. And in each split second He was at my side. Don't ask me how I would have done this week without His help, because I have no idea. I'd probably be unconscious and babbling about applications, first graders, overdue and unread library books, interviews, and stressful relationships.  My Mom made a comment last evening along the lines of: "You had your past few months all brought up to look at today didn't you!?" Yes Ma'am, I did. And when the past few months are as intense as mine have felt, a day of summarizing them can be a bit overwhelming.
 In Sunday School today we read Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick. But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." Someone asked the question that was on the tip of my tongue "what happens when we keep on desiring something, something good, and it never comes?". I've had that question burning on my mind, along with: How do we turn keen disappointment, impossibly hard relationships, and each split second, over to Him. Automatically, with out becoming bitter when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel?
 The answer was simple. Don't fail to consistently turn it over to the Lord, and find your fulfillment and joy in the Lord. Don't look elsewhere for it, because God is the one who holds the whole world in His hand.
 "There are many plans in a man's heart. Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand." Proverbs 19:21
 "May He grant you according to your heart's desire. And fulfill all your purpose." Psalm 20:4"
I've decided that the key to those two verses is making sure that our desires and plans are based on what we know the Lord wants for us.
 And when plans fall through, new glitches come up, and hard to handle criticisms come your way. Turn them over to the Lord. And above all else. Keep your mind sharp in the Word, spending time with Him as much as possible.
 And please, teach the little children that "Jesus Loves You". Don't ever, ever, take a moment with a child for granted. We were put here to give. So above all else, strive to give glory to the Lord, and teach the children what it means.

For this, I thank you Lord.

It isn't me who gives. It's God through me. And that means that when I'm dead inside it doesn't matter... It only gives Him more room to move.
 And on the days where life feels literally devastating and you wonder what the point to even trying to give is. When you have a bitter come back for every inspirational thought that comes your way. When the doors are all closed, and that open window that's supposed to be there is all blacked out.  On those days when all of you is used up and all you have left to give is the rocks on the "rock bottom".  When all you feel like doing is picking up those rocks and throwing them around with all your might to see if you can break a window open. It's on those days when other people see what you have inside of you after you've hit rock bottom.  
 But the "rocks" of the Spirit are: Love, Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. 
 Reach down and pick up peace, and use it to take love with you to find kindness, and the kindness brings joy to someone, and inspires them on to do goodness, and you realize that with God's faithfulness, you've gained the self control to put gentleness into action and not throw those rocks. But only allow Christ to display the beauty of them. And this is where forbearance comes in. Because we all know, that after you've already managed a whole day of this. It's gonna take a colossal amount of forbearance to do it again tomorrow. But with Him filling us, all this is possible. And for this, I thank you Lord.